Happy Sunday Everyone:
I wasn’t going to do Sunday Thoughts today. I have a few other things I’m working on and nothing was coming easy to my mind, which usually happens when I’m thinking about something I want to write about. Kim just walked down and said “there has to be something you’ve learned in a week”…so here I am, doing Sunday Thoughts. Lesson 1: Surround yourself with people that drive out the best in you.
Four or Five years ago I wrote about a challenge of asking yourself one thing you can do better in any category, to go one step up the ladder. Just one thing you can do to be a better spouse, parent, friend, leader, employee, business partner, etc….on that same day I asked Jack on the way home from a basketball game that question, what was one thing I could do to be a better dad? He didn’t want to answer the question and finally after pushing him for an answer he said “if you put your phone away when you got home from work, you’d be a better dad”. As I wrote about it then, and I’ll say today, it’s a profound and delicate moment when someone you care about doesn’t want to say something that will hurt but then does. You have to hear the information, accept it, and do something with it vs. defend yourself and your actions. So fast forward to yesterday, the family had to divide and conquer, Kim was with Jack at a charity deal and I was with Thomas at his football game. We’re finished with football and the two of us are going to grab some pizza. As we’re getting out of the car, Thomas says “hey dad, let’s leave our phones in the car”. I have two thoughts going through my head, one is of utter amazement that he just said that, and then also immediately going on the defensive and questioning “why” he just said that…what did I do? I asked him why, with delight, and he simply said “so we can talk and hang out”. It wasn’t some profound moment, it was just Thomas being Thomas.
My point in writing about this is not about human development, personal growth, etc….It’s about the simple concept of being present, and if I need to be reminded of that by a 12 year old, with some serious wisdom, so be it. I’m not one to talk as I could be used as the example but I look around and I see adults and kids and it’s really kind of crazy, and sad. If we could remind ourselves that you’re basically telling the person you’re with, that the phone in your hand is more important than them, perhaps we’d try just a little harder to stay off of it. I’m always amazed when I’m speaking with someone and they get a text and just completely blow me off to check it…like really? When you feel that urge, that addiction, to check the phone, just stop. Best thing for me personally, as Thomas suggested yesterday, is to leave it where I can’t get to it.
Something to consider on this fine Sunday, stay off your phone, be present, and enjoy whatever you’re doing, or whoever you’re with, or both.