Happy Sunday Everyone:
I forget sometimes that adults, like children, pout. There are varying degrees of pouting. There is feeling sorry for yourself, there is being moody, there is passive aggressive behavior, looking for attention but never getting enough of it….in kind of a sick way, it’s funny to be witness to. I bring this up because we had dinner with a group of friends Friday night and “someone” didn’t like the way the evening was going and started pouting. I wasn’t aware of it until the next day but it ended up in a long and bigger conversation between Kim and I.
Kim and I decided to have funday/Saturday, which for us is cruising around town eating and drinking. We end up in a positive conversation over a glass of wine about the events of Friday night, and we somehow get on the topic of what kim and our boys refer to as “weekday Hunter”, and “weekend Hunter”…weekday Hunter, according to Kim, is very serious, very intense, and “sometimes” a bit moody/grumpy. Weekend Hunter is fun, easy going, looking for social encounters etc….I’m very aware of this multiple personality issue I have during the week. I’m sure I’m not alone when I admit that shutting down from a stressful day in the office and walking in to be the perfect spouse and parent is easier said than done. It’s truly something I’m working on and Kim acknowledged it as such but she said something profound. She said when I would come in the house and she could tell I was in bad mood, she made a decision she wasn’t going to let me steal her joy. Now granted, this isn’t exactly what you want to hear from your spouse, and at the same time, it’s conversations like this that allow us to have the relationship we do but the words “I’m not going to allow you to steal my joy” isn’t itemized to me alone, it’s to the world.
Trying to loop this in to be positive vs. showing the world what a jackass I am. Having joy is a choice we all have, and unlike happiness, it’s not situational based on things/events. Having the presence of mind, like Kim, to acknowledge that she isn’t going to let me, or anyone else steal her joy is part of the reason she is who she is. Anyone that knows her knows that she carry’s joy with her and it shows in the life that she lives. Truth is, I don’t ever want her to need to put up the guard rails of my joy stealing antics, but even so, being aware of it goes along way. Every time you sense someone is attempting to steal your joy, acknowledge it, don’t allow it, and move on. If I put this into practice regularly the personalities between my two selves (weekday/weekend) would merge and I would be better for it.
Have a great week ahead and be on the lookout for joy stealers.