Happy Sunday everyone:
Happy 2026! I genuinely hope this is your best year yet. Why not, right?
A friend of mine, Shayla, sent me a podcast this week that really stuck with me. It happened to be one of my favorite authors, Arthur Brooks, being interviewed by Tim Ferriss. It’s a cool thing when a friend thinks there’s something you’d want to listen to, and it turns out to be someone you already love reading.
One of Arthur Brooks’ quotes from Strength to Strength is easily top three for me, maybe number one: “Use things, love people, worship the divine.” If we could remember just that, we’d probably all be doing pretty well.
The interview centered around his upcoming book, The Meaning of Your Life, big picture stuff. During the conversation, he talked about something that hit close to home for me: the difference between people who are natural seekers and people who are naturally present.
I’m very high on the seeking side. I like growth, ideas, progress, and what’s next. That’s a blessing, and sometimes a curse, because I’m not as strong on presence as I’d like to be. It came up in a real but meaningful conversation over Christmas when Jack & Thomas asked if I thought I’d ever be satisfied with everything I set out to do. What they were really asking was whether I’ll ever slow down enough to enjoy the ride and show that presence more than they see in me today. I’m grateful we can have these conversations, but it definitely caused some pause for me.
Kim is the opposite. As I’ve said before, her all-time best quote is that she wakes up happy and goes to bed happy unless I make her unhappy somewhere in between. Anyone that knows us well is reading this saying “yep”. She’s simply more present, she enjoys every day, she finds joy in everything she does, big stuff, the mundane. I’m envious at times but we both agree it’s good we’re not the exact same way as a couple.
Where this really landed for me was the question Arthur Brooks raised: how long do you keep seeking before it starts costing you what’s right in front of you? The best way for me to think about it is the law of diminishing returns.
Arthur Brooks shared an example from his son, who is a sniper in the Marines. He talked about the Marines’ 80% rule, something I wasn’t familiar with. The idea is simple: if you’re about 80% sure you’re on the right track, stop searching and start doing. In a Marine context, it means if you have 80% of the information you need, you make the decision. Waiting for more data often has greater negative consequences than acting.
On a personally relatable example, he used marriage as an example. He said, directly, “If you’re in love, you should get married.” If you know you’ve found someone special and you’re 80% sure, do you keep searching for perfect? Or do you choose to be present and build something real? If you keep searching, you risk missing the joy that’s already right in front of you, postponing what should be one of the best parts of your life.
For me personally, the idea of being okay with 80%, stopping the search and going all in, is both uncomfortable and freeing. It’s a reminder that at some point, seeking stops being growth and starts becoming avoidance. And presence, while quieter, might actually be where the joy is. I don’t do new year’s resolutions but one of my overall concepts is to live lighter. This concept on seeking, and knowing I’m a seeker, the 80% rule, and focusing on being more present is good for my health.
Have a great week ahead and thanks for reading today!